Food Is Love

Saturday, October 14, 2006

october 14

this isnt what i want.. its just what i am. since i was in highschool... ive been counting calories, restricting food, worrying, exercising, letting it take over my life. i dont plan on stopping either. i havent lost weight over the 4 or 5 years this has been going on...maybe for a few months, but i always get back up again. its a cycle i cant control... dont want to control. i dont know how much i weigh right now... 134 last time i checked 2 weeks ago, but im in england on study abroad, and the last week ive been drinking and eating like the world was ending. ill be in egypt for the next week, and i am determined to make a change. unfortunately, while im visiting my relatives, i cant just... not eat... what would they think? today so far:

1 container yogurt (90)
1/2 cup cornflakes (50)
1 chicken sandwich at mcdonalds (370)
5 potato wedges from mcdonalds (??)
1 mini cupcake (85)

for dinner we are having lambchops, corn, and new potatoes. I will only eat half of my lambchop. corn and potatoes are good for you, but they will be covered in butter, i know it. 3/4 of those then?

we're looking at 200 for the lamb, 200 for the potatoes, and 80 for the corn.

Grand total for the day: 1075 plus whatever it was for the potato wedges... probably about 60/70. I'm looking to keep it under 1000 each day... preferably under 800, but we'll see how that goes. Oh... i had a latte today, add another 100. Damn, I suck. Maybe ill binge tonight and eat all my lamb and all my potatoes and tomorrow fast until dinner. At least I will have one more day of satisfaction, since I've already screwed today up.

I also took a 45 minute walk today. I aim to do a lot of exercising at school, but here its hard. 45 minutes at least every day.


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